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undead-illusions @bs.com


♥ Saturday, July 22, 2006

im tired. yes, you heard me. im tired. im tired of you, you and you. im also tired of everything. every little thing. imagine that you have to face a brand new day which everyone keep saying but in the end all you face is a nothing but a rotting day. feel free to hit me. i dont really care whether im dead or not. cause no one really bothers to drop by my blog and read it. so whats the use of listing my whole entire day on my blog? its useless. and meanwhile.. i dont really want to be mapling anymore. im soooo tired. sigh. it really makes me want to puke when no ones actually understands me.. now i have 1% of intersts on staying in this freaking world. but.. i have such good friends.. but none of them really understands me. suddenly, i feel like a failure. a total failure. i couldnt do anything right. this is what i really feels now. i feel better already by writing this out instead of telling or shouting it out.. and i keep bottling it up. cause there is no one i can possible talk to. maybe its time for me to go in the chit-chat room. with ann ann.. shes having problems as well. with the class.. damn it.. i really want to change class but dont want to change teachers. wheres my goofy class? now everyones changed. changed. all changed. i no longer have the class i used to have. or the life i used to have.. sigh.. whats the use. now, i have no friends onli these: ann ann, wendy, xiao hui, shi min and zarinah. the rest all either my pure classmates or the ones i dont wish to know yet wish to know. im tired of my life. i dont really wish to be living in this world. but.. i have plans for my future with my friends. and that is to be able to go japan to study in uni. and then... sigh.. ann ann wants to be a fashion designer. and me, maybe a teacher or a baker.. im not sure. how i wish i could sleep and never wake up.. but that is imposible unless im dead. but i will never be dead if i keep living.. my homeworks untouch.. and i dont want to touch them.. but i need to.. i have to.. now im hopelessly waiting.. day by day the clock's ticking away.. whatever it is.. i need my friends. i want them. but i cant be so selfish. sigh.. i really need someone who is there for me always and someone i can really talk to. but.. there is no one i can talk to now...
Listened to music @ 10:49 PM